Indiscriminate affection is a term used to describe the behavior of children willing to love anyone. This is seen in many children that come home from orphanages especially older children as Dariya was.
They have to use their cuteness and ability to hug and love on a caregiver to get some support. Thankfully Dariya was in a good orphanage, although we never saw any of the caregivers hug her except when we took her away on gotcha day.
Dariya has transitioned very well to our family. If you have been following us a while you already know that. Our friends were so helpful and respectful in not giving her extra affection so that she could bond with our family. We believe she has bonded well and understands family.
However, as of the last month or so we have seen a huge rise in her indiscriminate affections, mainly hugging although she went up to another preschooler at church and asked for a kiss this past week. At her class Valentines party she hugged every parent in the room (all strangers to us), at the library for story time she accosted two different moms (strangers) trying to hug them, at the rec center last week she asked a man (total stranger) to pick her up, and last Saturday at our Learning Program reading class she was hugging and asking everyone even the volunteers (strangers) to pick her up. Of course, all these people strangers included were more than happy to oblige her and thought she was the best thing since sliced bread.
Our concern is that as a 5 year old this behavior might be cute but as she gets older this behavior will truly be frowned on not only by her classmates but also society.
We aren't sure what has caused this outburst of affection with her. I am wondering if she is picking up more and more on my diagnosis. But, whatever the reason is behind it we believe that she has to be stopped and that is where we are asking for your help...
We are asking if you see this sweet, adorable, ever so huggable girl that you help us reinforce that "HUGS are only for family". Please do not pick her up or give her hugs or kisses. You may give high fives or fist bump, or shake her hand.
It truly takes a village to raise a child and we appreciate your help in this journey!